Ted Sheridan

Platitudes From A Bartenders Guide To Life - Poem by Ted Sheridan

I can sum up my life in a hundred words or less....
I don't like ketchup on hotdogs...mustard and onions only
and that goes for burgers too....
Unless forced by necessity I never drink light beer...
I hate coffee...it even taste like shit with whiskey in it...
I like whiskey...tequila....bourbon....RUM...
I like potato vodka...and cranberry juice...
I never drink Scotch...it smells like death to me...
I was pronounced dead one morning after...
Most women hate Scotch too...
And I love women...short and fat...tall and skinny...matters not
But I love my wife most of all....
If I hadn't said that my life would be edited to ten words or less....

Comments about Platitudes From A Bartenders Guide To Life by Ted Sheridan

  • (6/8/2007 10:28:00 AM)

    Your ability to make me and others laugh knows no bounds! Grand to see you under the thumb.My arse... :) t x (Report) Reply

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  • (6/8/2007 10:14:00 AM)

    i looove women, my Mother was one and since your wife is one, that includes her too. (lol) take care. (Report) Reply

  • (6/8/2007 10:12:00 AM)

    I like scotch. Last night, the bartender was from Albania. And he had worked in a broad range of places: from the beaches to the land-locked areas.. platitudes to altitudes... & he was saying how he/one always has to appear [readily] attainable - flirt with all the ladies; etc, to the point of exhaustion. Like Tom Cruise in Cocktail. ps - i now know the difference b/w whisky & whiskey. care, sjg (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Friday, June 8, 2007

Poem Edited: Wednesday, March 9, 2011

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