Repulsion Of Affection Poem by Suraj Samtani

Why do I think,
That I don't need love? &
Why do I think,
That I don't deserve love?

Yet Emotionally,
I feel so alone and unloved, &
Yet Emotionally,
I feel so ostracised and unsupported.

Yet Factually,
I know how much I'm blessed with, &
Yet Factually,
I know I have more than others bless with.

Yet still,
To all those perks I remain unreceptive, &
Yet still,
To all those perks I remain unresponsive.

Yet Intellectually,
I really do want to change, &
Yet Intellectually,
I even know how to change.

Yet Still,
I am unable to manifest the change, &
Yet Still,
I am unable to realise the change.

What is it within me,
That is so stuck? &
What is it within me,
That is keeping me so stuck?

Towards love,
How did I develop such an allergy? &
Towards love,
How did I develop such an apathy?

Is it my past trauma,
That is still sealing for me a ceiling?
Or is it my ego,
That has fictionalised all of my facts?

I humbly request the universal powers,
To heal me with my own inner light, &
I humbly request the universal powers,
To connect me with my own inner might.

I know,
I am love. &
I know,
I am loved.

Please bless me,
That I eternally live within this love. &
Please bless me,
That I eternally spread this love.

Only thus,
Would my spirit dance with a purpose, &
Only thus,
Would my soul fulfil its sole purpose.