Dulakshi Wakista


***sacrifice*** - Poem by Dulakshi Wakista

God knows that I've fallen in love
Since the day I was born
I've felt that you and I are bound together
When I see you
My heartbeats fast
When I close my eyes
I feel you're with me
Everytime and everywhere I can see you
Such a lovely moment!
My heart is filled so full of love
We're over joyed
Our love is true like a spring
God said,
“True lovers cannot detach from each other”
Yet isn't it strange
That fate has not decided to make us one?
It's time for us to depart from each other
But still you're a God given precious gift!

Love is a sacrifice, yet…
Our love can be expressed without saying a single word
I know I can't belong to you
For you now belong to another
Let us make this sacrifice together
For each others' sake
Tho' it'll shatter our hearts to end our true love
Maybe God
Didnot intend us to be of one soul
We'll bury our love within our hearts
But I still love you
Alas! a wound in my heart
That'll never heal
I promise
You're the only one in my heart till eternity
Oh! God
Reincarnate me as his beloved princess again

Dulakshi Wakista Copyright 2010


Comments about ***sacrifice*** by Dulakshi Wakista

  • (4/1/2010 9:59:00 PM)


    A beautiful poem indeed but I agree with some of you members here. Some editing of this poem is require but I shall give you a ten for the power of emotions written into words! ! thats whats potry is about (Report) Reply

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  • Gita Ashok (4/1/2010 9:18:00 AM)


    Lovely poem, especially the last few lines. As someone has pointed out, a little bit of editing would enhance the beauty of the poem. (Report) Reply

  • (4/1/2010 9:13:00 AM)


    Great Job! Can tell you ment every single word.
    Keep it up! Your good.: D
    Love is Sacrifice and thats what Jesus did. He died on the crose becuz he love us oh so much..: D
    Good Job
    God Bless
    (Report) Reply

  • Himadari Jayasinghe (3/13/2010 11:17:00 PM)


    a nice poem with powerful feelings...but don't you think it would be more enriched if you have used figurative language? Thanks for sharing (Report) Reply

  • (3/4/2010 11:37:00 AM)


    Truly remarkable.... i feel that way that poem touches me.... It is remarkable how your words reach out to me (Report) Reply

  • (3/2/2010 3:53:00 AM)


    Trully, love is a sacrifice. I'm sure a lot of people who sacrificed in the name of love can relate to this. Thanks for this one! God bless! (Report) Reply

  • (2/26/2010 9:03:00 AM)


    Beautiful poem.., to love is to sacrifice...i.e giving/ sharing one's soul with another/others. Good write. a10 (Report) Reply

  • Michelle Freeman (2/26/2010 8:18:00 AM)


    yes love is a sacrifice and yes God should reincarnate you as your love's princess (Report) Reply

  • (2/24/2010 8:43:00 AM)


    <3 it! ! (Report) Reply

  • (2/24/2010 3:24:00 AM)


    Your refference to 'God' is 5 times.
    God IS Love. All are 'Self' and with having 'Love's emotion.
    Am I requested to critique for your poem's literary value or,
    reflect on a 'Sacrifice' that Love hath no dealing with.
    Only the evil of human killing, should so be titled and so termned.
    My poem, 'As a Rose' here on PH will address my feelings related.
    Happy Writing, Love will heal the pain that it lacks of.
    (Report) Reply

  • (2/22/2010 5:50:00 PM)


    This is a nice, personal, romantic poem.
    It starts off with a nice romantic feel, and ends on a sad note. A good representation of love itself; as it too, can also start of nice but end on a sad note.


    I feel that this poem needs to have more punctuation in it to help bring out those emotions that cannot be expressed with words. The punctuation will create natural pauses in the poem, that help create a more powerful atmosphere and define the pace of the poem.
    So, in the case of this poem, you would start the poem of something like this:

    'God knows that I've fallen in love,
    Since the day I was born;
    I've felt that you and I are bound together.
    When I see you,
    My heartbeats fast;
    When I close my eyes,
    I feel you're with me;
    Everytime, and everywhere, I can see you.
    (Such a lovely moment!) '

    I also think you can divide your poem down into more stanzas. The example I provided above, can be left as a stanza by itself; as it is running on one particular idea.


    'My heartbeats fast'
    This should be 'My heart beats faster'

    'My heart is filled so full of love'
    A bit of redundancy used in this line. 'is filled' and 'so full' mean the exact same thing.

    'Didnot intend us to be of one soul'
    This should be 'Did not intend us to be of one soul'


    Your choice of words contains a wide range of words, which is great to see.
    The emotive language in this poem is quite strong. Just a shame that your figurative language is not a as strong. I only found one Simile in this poem. Would like to see a few more similes or maybe a Metaphor.


    Overall, this is a nice read that I enjoyed.
    Great work.
    (Report) Reply

  • (2/22/2010 10:34:00 AM)


    When you acheive something materially, your soul lost something, when you loss something materailly, your soul gain something: Ralph Waldo Emerson........a good write.... (Report) Reply

  • (2/22/2010 6:35:00 AM)


    ‘…Didnot intend us to be of one soul
    We'll bury our love within our hearts…’

    Very poetically mature lines and moving and touchy…applause! !
    Though in love where separation is inevitable [ its called Magnanimous Separation] is a very fine and minusculed…grafted on bosom in subsubtly
    And euphony and glory of Love constantly showering to imbue and souse our heart
    10+
    Ms. Nivedita
    UK
    (Report) Reply

  • (2/22/2010 5:29:00 AM)


    When you bury your love in your heart it becomes a graveyard. Very sad and romantic poem. (Report) Reply

  • (2/21/2010 9:23:00 PM)


    This nice poem and the sound very romantic Dulakshi. (Report) Reply

  • Ravi Sathasivam (2/19/2010 11:22:00 PM)


    Very romantic and touching poem.
    Well penned.
    Enjoyed reading it
    Thanks for sharing with me
    (Report) Reply

  • (2/19/2010 3:28:00 PM)


    Lovely poem expressed from a loving person the beat of the heart can be felt,
    yes god knows everything and thanks for a super read,
    regards
    (Report) Reply

  • (2/19/2010 4:30:00 AM)


    What a striking poem. So elegantly penned one's spotless love. Thank you ma'am for sharing this wonderful poem. (Report) Reply

  • (2/18/2010 9:12:00 AM)


    Love is a sacrifice, yet…
    Our love can be expressed without saying a single word
    I know I can't belong to you
    For you now belong to another
    Let us make this sacrifice together
    For each others' sake
    Tho' it'll shatter our hearts to end our true love
    Maybe God
    Didnot intend us to be of one soul
    We'll bury our love within our hearts
    But I still love you
    Alas! a wound in my heart
    That'll never heal
    I promise
    You're the only one in my heart till eternity

    A dilemma which many have faced. The sacrifice out of love is tough. Very romantic and touching.
    (Report) Reply

  • (2/18/2010 8:22:00 AM)


    God knows that I've fallen in love
    Since the day I was born
    I've felt that you and I are bound together

    Such beautiful knowledge and certainty to be born with, to fill the years, with the eventual knowing that you cannot separated be. A beautiful write.
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Poem Edited: Sunday, February 14, 2010


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