***sacrifice*** Poem by Dulakshi Wakista

This nice poem and the sound very romantic Dulakshi.

When you bury your love in your heart it becomes a graveyard. Very sad and romantic poem.

‘…Didnot intend us to be of one soul We'll bury our love within our hearts…’ Very poetically mature lines and moving and touchy…applause! ! Though in love where separation is inevitable [ its called Magnanimous Separation] is a very fine and minusculed…grafted on bosom in subsubtly And euphony and glory of Love constantly showering to imbue and souse our heart 10+ Ms. Nivedita UK

When you acheive something materially, your soul lost something, when you loss something materailly, your soul gain something: Ralph Waldo Emerson........a good write....

This is a nice, personal, romantic poem. It starts off with a nice romantic feel, and ends on a sad note. A good representation of love itself; as it too, can also start of nice but end on a sad note. I feel that this poem needs to have more punctuation in it to help bring out those emotions that cannot be expressed with words. The punctuation will create natural pauses in the poem, that help create a more powerful atmosphere and define the pace of the poem. So, in the case of this poem, you would start the poem of something like this: 'God knows that I've fallen in love, Since the day I was born; I've felt that you and I are bound together. When I see you, My heartbeats fast; When I close my eyes, I feel you're with me; Everytime, and everywhere, I can see you. (Such a lovely moment!) ' I also think you can divide your poem down into more stanzas. The example I provided above, can be left as a stanza by itself; as it is running on one particular idea. 'My heartbeats fast' This should be 'My heart beats faster' 'My heart is filled so full of love' A bit of redundancy used in this line. 'is filled' and 'so full' mean the exact same thing. 'Didnot intend us to be of one soul' This should be 'Did not intend us to be of one soul' Your choice of words contains a wide range of words, which is great to see. The emotive language in this poem is quite strong. Just a shame that your figurative language is not a as strong. I only found one Simile in this poem. Would like to see a few more similes or maybe a Metaphor. Overall, this is a nice read that I enjoyed. Great work.

This is a very beautiful declaration in a poem, uttered by the broken heart, but like Jesus died for us on the cross, you have undergone those same sufferings. A fascinating and brilliant comparison and a sublime title. You have a tender heart and inside, dear poetess. Thank you for sharing this cute declaration of sacrifice. GBU!

A beautiful poem indeed but I agree with some of you members here. Some editing of this poem is require but I shall give you a ten for the power of emotions written into words! ! thats whats potry is about

Lovely poem, especially the last few lines. As someone has pointed out, a little bit of editing would enhance the beauty of the poem.

Great Job! Can tell you ment every single word. Keep it up! Your good.: D Love is Sacrifice and thats what Jesus did. He died on the crose becuz he love us oh so much..: D Good Job God Bless

a nice poem with powerful feelings...but don't you think it would be more enriched if you have used figurative language? Thanks for sharing