Santa Gone Bad Poem by Randy Johnson

It was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Santa stole all of my stuff and he ran off with my spouse.
That Fatso stole everything that I had.
I was shocked because Santa went bad.
All that he gave me for Christmas was the finger and some coal.
I decided to get even this morning when I went to the North Pole.
I gave his reindeers liquor and got them drunk.
When Santa started flying, his ship was sunk.
His reindeers crashed and Santa has a lot of broken bones.
And to add insult to injury, I pelted the punk with stones.
Now Santa is in the hospital in a body cast.
I got even for what he did one year in the past.