Screaming Heart Poem by Chantelle Nixon

I keep screaming out to him
With my eyes, my kisses
The way I constantly love him
Too strong yet not enough
But he doesn’t hear me
He only smiles at me
Seeing only the surface
The topical reassurance
That there is only peace
Inside this heart of mine
Yet inside of my heart of hearts
Inside of my deepest soul
I cry and constantly ache
For more... of him... of us
Just one chance
If I had just one chance
I’d love him more than any woman could
Cooking, cleaning, catering
Supporting him in any endeavor
Spoiling him with overwhelming attention
Admiring and appreciating him
For each and every thing
He is and is not
It wrenches the tears from my eyes
How she treats him
She sits there
Wearing the crown of all things
On her left hand
Yet and still, she is not happy
Condescending and nonchalant
Are good friends of hers
And fast enemies of his
Communication has long been evicted
And I sit in the corner
Watching mistrust unravel their relationship
My heart says
If I could just have one moment
The things between he and I
Could be so much better
Then she comes to me
Casting all my dreams aside
Forcing me to acknowledge her
She is REALITY
My everlasting enemy
And though I hate the pain she brings
I need her to survive
As I sit in this corner
With a smile painted on
And a screaming, aching heart
She holds my hand
Assuring that the light –
True bright light –
Will come again, brighter than before
Even after the darkest storm
Of my soon-to-come heartache
I ask her as I sit alone
If it’s him and her
And her and him
Then where will there ever be room for me?
She has no answer