Sealed Unto Tears Poem by Hasan Haskovic

Sealed Unto Tears

Rating: 5.0

Bitter, bitter thoughts
Manifested, stagnated
A overflow of memories
Of my love, my hatred
Clutching my mind
Endlessly afraid
Afraid of what I am
Afraid of what I made

Gracious, gracious despair
Wings crimson, face blank
Holding my hand
In every step I take
Grasping more tightly
With every mistake I make

My mind is a ground fertile
For the seed of anxiety
And it's fruit has been picked
Again, and again, and again
Still I pray to my diety
The Savior with no name
My warden that listens
But remains silent, blessed blame
I had not lived
I have not died
But I never lied
That I did not cry

With broken wings
One can only flutter
And as fear sings
I sit simply plucking feathers
Burdens crippled my faith
Exalted my worry
To the point of misery
Where I actually enjoyed its ectasy
Drowned in the blight
I started to call this home
I turned my back to the light
Broken, forgotten, alone

The marble wore away
Eaten away by every nightfall
But never broke beneath my weight
The weight of the sky
Upon it I bled dry
Void of though, of worry
In it I imprinted the prayer
Where tears left my mark on the stone

Devils singed
Sang hymns
Of my scars
Broken limbs
Wings crimson, face blank
The embrace of despair, god thank
Leaned onto the stone
Writing down my life in tears
Of how damned am I, alone
Of Salvation, cries that no one hears

I had not lived
I have not died
But I never lied
That I did not cry

Jessica Fay Harding 11 December 2012

This is a very emotional poem, Hasan. It is obvious that you feel that you cannot move on from this particular point, as the title of the poem suggests. I find the refrain ‘I had not lived/I have not died’ particularly interesting. The way you have fashioned the sentence to mean that you haven’t lived a day in your life without this enigmatic person coupled with your admittance that you are only left with ‘gracious despair’ to hold your hand is quite a powerful sentiment. The speaker exists in the monotonous, lonely and unidentifiable space between life and death beyond the reach of help or basic human contact. The poem could be improved with a greater attention to syntax and punctuation. Although it may be more important for you to express yourself on paper without thinking about grammar, your emotions will become clearer and more poignant if attentions are paid to grammatical and syntactical rules and conventions. For example there isn’t a single full stop in the poem. I think it would benefit the message and the reader’s lungs if a full stop or two is included! The poem could also be improved by a slightly unconventional use of punctuation at times. I think ellipsis in the first verse would work particularly well: ‘ Bitter, bitter thoughts… the stagnated overflow of memories. My love, my hatred Clutching my mind… Endlessly afraid, Afraid of what I am… Afraid of what I made’. This is only a suggestion! I think this establishes quite a strong authorial presence in your work, almost as if you are reciting the poem over your reader’s shoulders. I hope I have been helpful and not patronizing!

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Hasan Haskovic

Hasan Haskovic

Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina
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