Server Poem by Dislocated Heart

The memories haunt,
as I lay there silently.
the hurt ever so present.
with each heartbeat..
I cave in a little more.
The things we used to do..
that filled me up with joy,
leaves me breathless,
into a state of unconsciousness.

Wishing to wipe away the memories,
start off anew,
but your presence haunts me still.
Your heart sticks to me like glue.
Etched in my soul is yours.
dead inside,
it's a new playing field.

damp in my decisions,
the wrong ones I choose to take.
Who cares, I vaguely say.
it's just another day.
the tears stain my pillow.
I walk with my friend sorrow.
my shadow ever so kind..
to lay with me.. loving me tonight.

Subconscious.. why do you hurt.
the thoughts make me weep.
my heart slowly beats.
could I be dying slowly?
yet I smile for the show..
but honestly.. it's my questions I'll never know.

Why am I the one left behind.
when I've given everything,
with nothing left to hide.
perhaps I'm not made for love.
Nor happiness, I assume.
I'll be the server. Of all of you.