Shameful Living Poem by Dakota Ellerton

So aimlessly,
I wandered at 4am.
Running to the store,
then running away,
then running back.
I almost didn't want to,
but decided it was best.
Twenty four hours,
thirty pills.
This is a relapse if ever one.
But I could hardly care.
I haven't spoken a word today,
and plan to stay silent.
The music is over powering the world.
If only everyone realized,
it's not a thing to do with them.
The walls and floor,
painted a beautiful gem red.
If only it were more appreciated.
I can't recall when so much blood was spilt,
for a cause so painful.
Now all there is,
is a bittersweet good-bye.
Even now I'm at your mercy.
Praying you wake,
as I have.
To take my life under such circumstances,
would have been cruel to you.
So I did what I could,
to keep from taking more.
I may not know you,
but for my last moments,
I'd happily pretend.
I've given you the option,
now it's in your hands.
I asked you,
how you could so easily love me through the things I've done to you.
I got my answer.
Through the lies and the pain,
through the harsh truth, and sadness,
through the hardships, and tears,
I've loved you just the same.