Silence & Rage Poem by Nika McGuin

My silence has rendered me dumb
In your eyes, my unending kindness
Gullible to your perception

I should have never told you
I'd be there no matter what
Should have never said
Just how much I cared

When you hurt me
I should have said something
I should have gotten angry
And told you to your face

But instead I kept silent
The abuse kept on...

I knew you were using me
Addicted to your company
I let it happen, far too many times
Now all I have left are inciting memories
the reflections of my regrets

And my anger, because inside I know
You must have been laughing at me
Well I don't hear you laughing now
that I've turned and walked away

The river of my kindness has at last
Ceased to flow, but I have left over
this giant waterfall of piercing silence, for you

words could never express
How much wrath I have
Pent up over the years
Only silence can say it better

The same silence that was my weakness
Has become my strength, and my weapon

But it's not enough, to rid my heart of anger
To do that, I'd have to speak out
Something I've never been able to do
And I still don't know if I can

So I'll hold my silence
For now, though it kills me
It's all I have: silence and rage