Wandering Scarlet

Rookie - 0 Points (June 1,1991 / Richmond hill)

Sleeping Gas - Poem by Wandering Scarlet

The drug of mankind that which numbs the soul to fulfillment and peace
As gas as ethereal as the gods yet is destructive to the earth and trees
It spreads in every form, word of mouth to contact with flesh and disease

We never fail commit suicide every minute of our lives
Until finally, we are reborn with the next sunrise
Passed down for generations, as no child fails to be desensitized

Our minds diluted by unsubstantial sensations
A desire satisfied and unsatisfied, labels 'drone' to inferior nations
Exponential cycle of have, have not, accelerates us to obliteration

Our soul sleeps as the boundless body shall endlessly crave
Killing for gold, man is but a violent and, selfish slave
Choking in our endless hunger, we burrow our own graves

Comments about Sleeping Gas by Wandering Scarlet

  • (12/29/2008 1:38:00 PM)

    an great pleasure to read that one! amazing description of the petty struggle man had with his own self, and how he slowly suffocates all he loves with his greed and lust for control...amazing! (Report) Reply

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  • (11/20/2008 2:30:00 PM)

    The message here proves vital to the struggle of humanity at this time, Wandering Scarlet! Deep articulation of complex issues. I found the phrasing of the final stanza to be rich in detail and synapses; a strong bang to finish this one off. If I had to offer a word of criticism, I'd say some of the phrasing in the first stanza is a bit lumbering. Too many linking words perhaps? I love what you've built here, so I wouldn't say this to detract from what you’ve crafted in any way. Maybe this poem would benefit if you stripped the first two stanzas down to the root of your message. Try to whittle the phrasing to as few words as possible to pull us in. Especially the first line: you have to draw the reader in. On a positive note, I never possessed the skills or depth of awareness you utilize here at your age. Usually, such rich perception is reserved to folks as old as I find myself becoming! Undoubtedly, I enjoy this work and look forward to future efforts from you! Warm regards, John. (Report) Reply

  • (10/31/2008 3:28:00 AM)

    well i just that is a cool poem wanderling scarlet keep up the good work why dont you read my new poem i just wrote a little disgusting but funny called 'a*s holes (Report) Reply

  • (10/29/2008 10:28:00 AM)

    nice this is good work i like it (Report) Reply

  • (10/29/2008 6:08:00 AM)

    This is a very profound statement o fthe human condition. In all my years I have watched how friends destroyed themselves in misery, and how they bounced back again. I really like this, because everything you say here is so true too.

    One thing tho. There are a couple of spelling errors and word omissons. Please re-read through this, and correct the mistakes. But other than that I trally did like this poem. A 10 for this from me.

    Love & hugs,
    (Report) Reply

  • (10/29/2008 3:49:00 AM)

    it was very nice.. the words was very rich and meaningful.. as u compare and contrast in each line.. very gud! ! (Report) Reply

  • (10/28/2008 11:38:00 PM)

    Wow! this was really amazing. Thank you for sharing. This was one in which I enjoyed reading. GIves you something to think about. (Report) Reply

  • (10/28/2008 9:20:00 PM)

    I really like this one I'm adding it to my favs. good job!
    *Purkey Girl*
    (Report) Reply

  • (10/28/2008 9:20:00 PM)

    Our Soul sleeps as the boundless body shall endlessly crave.....very good, I think this line is at the heart of your poem.....10 (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Poem Edited: Tuesday, December 30, 2008

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