Smokin' More Than Salmon Poem by gershon hepner

Smokin’ more than salmon, lovely Sarah
like Disney princess does her nitty-gritty,
so I believe that nothing could be fairer
than dedicating to her this small ditty.

Some see her as a huntin’, fishin’ gal,
which may be why the pundits all complain,
for they would rather have a femme fatale
less out of touch like her, though John McCain
may have believed she had her finger on
the pulse of hoi polloi in these United
States, an icon who would never con
the voters, more excited than benighted.

She tells us that she doesn’t mind the slime
of fish and and all the dirt that lies beneath
her finger nails. She’ll show you a good time
in ways less obsolete than any token
you used to need on subways in New York,
while on a bridge to nowhere she is smokin’,
not bringing home the bacon or the pork.

Because she has such gorgeous gams we will
forgive her, since we love that she provides
material for the bloggers who all thrill
to go with her on obsolete E-rides,
but as for any pundits who may love her,
the double standard reigns again, of course,
for she’s a book that hasn’t a hard cover,
and on her book tour is a tour de force.

Maureen Dowd, in “Sarah’s Secret Diary” in the NYT on July 8, speaks in the voice of Sarah Palin:
No one understands me. It’s like I’m speaking some Eskimo dialect or something. Andrea Mitchell follows me all the way to Kanakanak Beach and I get a French manicure and set up this huge photo op for her, even though she spooked the salmon. Todd and me are in our cool fishing bibs. Piper’s helping out on the boat. It’s an amazing day that shows how our Creator favored my beloved Alaska, gatekeeper of the continent, and makes a great shot for all the network reporters up here to milk. This progresses me away from my image as some kind of flaky “rogue diva” and back to my image as a tough huntin’ and fishin’ gal. But Andrea makes such a darn big deal about how I’m quitting in the middle of my term. “You’re not listening to me! ” I snap. She says maybe I didn’t want to go back to the nitty-gritty of Alaska politics after the bright lights of the national campaign. “The nitty-gritty, like, you mean, the fish slime and the dirt under the fingernails and stuff that’s me? ” I said. Awesome response, huh? ! ! It’s the same old double standard. I am not one of those who would whine and cuss. It’s just not how I’m wired! ! ! But the minute I start to whine and cuss, the mainstream media totally misunderstands my verbiage and the combination of things that brought me to this place of knowing. And I know that I know that I know those crappy bloggers will put out more confliction stories.

7/8/09