Snowfall Soliloquy Poem by Linda Marie Van Tassell

I don't know why I keep coming back here
holding onto death in a snow bouquet.
It's like time has frozen every tear
and tossed them to heaven, to fall, to lay.

I walk on my heart, under ground, on you,
the soft white silence of a thousand odes,
hoping for something, much deeper and true
to rise from the depths of earthly abodes.

The shade of a shadow covers my eyes
like cobwebs clinging in corners of time;
and a blanket of snow covers the skies,
a white sheet aching for rhythm and rhyme.

I search for the answers I cannot find,
looking for something I will never see,
starved for affection and blinder than blind.
I cannot describe this ache within me.

I trudge onward because I know I must.
I hang in the balance between the dead
wanting so badly to love and to trust,
chiseled with hunger and tearing like bread.

I have drowned in pools of heartache and shame,
the faint full falling between here and there,
a symbol of nothing and naught but name
to keep me company when all is bare.

I begged with the honesty of a child.
I pleaded with God but pleaded in vain.
I wept to the heavens, gentle and wild,
seeking sweet solace again and again.

Sweet Ophelia! I sink into tears.
A sparrow's song stretches upon its bough,
an echo of the soul and bygone years,
a tribute to nothing left of me now.

I don't know why I keep coming back here
dragging my dress like a whisper to earth
hoping that somehow, someway you will hear
and validate that I'm more than I'm worth.

I love you more than I ever could tell.
I have missed you every single day
and wish my words could uplift and indwell,
bring you back to me forever to stay.

Tonight is the coldest night of the year.
The white-shawled wind is promising more snow.
How long have I yearned and never been near
to the one who left me so long ago?

When the heart its whispers of love shall cease
and my spine be burrowed in sweet repose
perhaps I shall find sweet moments of peace
between the shadows of twilight and rose.