Split Uvula Poem by matthew harris

Up until i entered six grade (at Henry Kline elementary -
a one classroom per grade - school)
classmates bullied, derided, and feigned to hammer -
jabbing leering, nasty pimping ragout as a rule
which boyhood self of mine availed a perfect bulls eye target
with combination of diminutiveness, being painfully quiet,
essentially remaining mum the entire day
except when called upon to answer question
thence utterance emanating between lips
produced and emitted a strong nasal sound to boot
grist for the mill sans malice meted, mimicked,
and mocked mashup of mine warped congestion
ah, twas only by a fluke conversation, whence a speech pathologist
informed my parents about the Lancaster cleft plate clinic,
where oral an examination revealed minor birth defect
identified as a sub-mucous cleft palate,
which explained the severe pinched twang
somewhat mitigated by wearing a removable prosthetic
fastened with clasps to upper teeth
whereby a makeshift miniature plastic protuberance closed the gap
so air would be prevented passing thru my button nose
and thus gentle and soft as a shutterfly shunted air out thee oral opening
though congenital defect disallowed returning merchandise back to sender
nor could blame be affixed at either father nor mother
who both harbored the genetic mutation
now such admissions re: aforementioned impediment allows,
enables and provides boasting rights
if in a mood temper any curiosity or satisfying a rumor
whispered down the ally
whence I said "ah" left nagging nincompoops
as if pie hole filled with a gob stopper.