Stress Test At Bellefonte Poem by Randy McClave

I went to a Catholic hospital, but not for a day of rest
I went there instead to take a stress test,
They stuck me with a needle and then shaved my chest
So, then began my hours on a cardiovascular quest.

I looked at the nurses as they smiled as for fun
Then for an X-ray my shirt had to be undone,
I looked all about me and there I couldn't find a nun
So, when they hooked me up I cursed, and I wanted to run.

They took a 13 minute X-ray of my beating heart
Then they put me on a treadmill and told me to start,
I felt like I was running uphill, pushing a stone filled cart
I was so tired and in pain, I just wanted to depart.

The nurses said that they wanted my heart to beat higher
I said let's discuss my Scottish ex and my beat would be on fire,
She was an adulterer and a thief, and of course a liar
But, luckily for me, I was able to retire.

When I finished the test they gave me caffeine to drink
But, first I went to the restroom to cool myself off in the sink,
Worries about my heart, I then began to think
But, I felt better when I was leaving, from a nurse's wink.

That night with worries and a nightmare I was awoken
I dreamt that I was meeting "Charon" with a token,
Now I remember the nurse's sentiment when she had spoken
She told me that my heart was strong, and not at all broken.

Randy L. McClave