Stupid Things Poem by Randy McClave

I've done some very stupid things in my life
I once took a crazy woman as my wife,
Then I finally sued her for divorce
My sanity was the ultimate course.
I once jumped in a lake and I couldn't swim
My future then looked certainly grim,
I thought for sure through stupidity I would drown
Then I was saved by a stranger, who didn't let me down.
Through my mouth and stupidity I was once thrown in jail
My parents had to post my bail,
Never again will I drive through a very small town
Where unto nonresidents they give a frown.
When I was younger I played with matches and knives
Accidentally and inadvertently I had burned and ended many of my lives,
I still remember the pain and I still have the scars
One day that ignorance and stupidity will be in my memoirs.
I once was the Captain on a sinking boat
I forgot to replace the drain plug, so it would float,
A friend quickly pulled me and my boat ashore
Because, of that incident I do stupidity no more.
Never no more do I do stupid things
No more do I tempt destiny or pass out engagement rings,
I'll never get drunk or get high from drugs or pills
And, I'll never ever help a billionaire pay their legal bills.

Randy L. McClave