Sunshine, You Poem by Cynthia Osta

The days will pass and the thoughts will accompany
How does a flower forget its scent? And how does the color forget the sun rays? Existence is in its existence.
In my thoughts I wander and find you a reality.
I wander I search and land on you
Today like yesterday and tomorrow like the day after.

I take a breath to quench the thirst for your energy
the breath extends my life until the next but something is not surviving
the thirst is unending and its existence is in yours

Somewhere a mirage is forming
and its formation is real.
It is only somewhere
I wish I was there.

When you leave an empty hall after some time warmed by your presence
the vibrations stay where you spilled them.
They never leave
The story of the hall has your name in its pages
and forever the story exists.
Tell me how to move on when you're the destroyer of my walls
and the craftsman of those windows now allowing rays of sun
in a space I forever thought will remain infertile.

You sat on the crown of my heart
and for a while you did.
Your shadow inhabits the premises
but a shadow is a disgrace to you.
Shadows do not correspond to you.
But shadows are all I have left from you and those I will keep.
You see in my search for meanings I lost all capacities to understand.
For in my search for meanings I found you
but now you're no more
and I don't understand.

How did I lose you?

Allow me, dearest friend,
never to answer with accusations pointing towards me.
Be gentle and sweet as you can only be and let me just naively say, life.
Be gentle, dearest friend.
Be gentle on the flower, for you are the scent.

But how could life take its own life?
The resurrection is it also the crucifixion?
Is life nothing but death for in life death lies as equally powerful..
And isn't it?


Why did I meet you?


In the bliss of ignorance
I much felt scentless until you sat of the crown of my heart,
and suddenly,
the sun
brought out essences.

I sleep tight in my corners, wrapped in fabric to fill the space, your space.
Your cradle to my body, your body.
And imagine you and then in comfort and peace I lay in my thoughts,
wrapped in your tenderness.
Children sharing the purest forms of intimacy,
innocence in passion,
light in darkness,
life in sleep.

Until time turns a page and new adventures awaited.

You were there, observant but present Present..
Why couldn't you also be future?
So far, you were only present.
So grandly and majestically present.
I won that present, I was gifted that, your present, for a moment in time.

Moments in time,
and then time goes on but thoughts accompany.
How does time forget the sunrise? Existence is in its existence.
How does a melody forget silence?

I sit and wonder about your present moments,
Light all around you
just like when I first met you and imprinted you in my mind.
Tunes dancing in the space around you,
happy they are, accompanying you,
they are you.

And as I allow myself to drift in pure emotions,
I indulge in memories of your presence
and melt like a tear on the corner of yours lips.
from you to you.
From your eyes to your lips.
Tears from us back to us
from us to us.
Nothing is wasted.
Nothing is lost, but time.
And time is thorny.
We, we're not stuck in time my dearest friend,
we're infinite and tiny
both so clearly

In moments I feel powerful and capable of crossing distances
just for moments with you
It makes me smile,
and it makes me anxious.
For it is as easy as wanting to.
And equally as hard,
wanting to.

If I were there
now in this second
we'd be lost again from this wretched reality.
We'd be forgotten and invisible again.
As light isn't recognized except through darkness, for them
for some, for most.
And for most I wanted to be invisible nonexistent, forgotten.
For you I wanted nothing
I didn't try, think, expect
I just.. was, present.

Forgotten, for in their thoughts I am a million painting,
none of which I identify with me.
Forgotten for in their hopes I am a million future,
none of which I can wake up for.
Forgotten for in their memories I am a million story,
none I which I would ever be proud to tell.

For you I wanted nothing.
And your nothingness was a wonderful world to me.
A universe diverse and steady.
A universe full of images, none enforced.
full of stories yet to be written, none decided for.
full of hopes crystal clear, none tainted.

That moment exists, now, in this second and I'm telling you I miss you with with my eyes
saying what no one else but you can possibly understand.
I'm floating and pacing,
breathing and exhaling and neither is exhausting.
Not in this moment.

A moment that transcends all moments away from you.

The moment of moments
existing and carved on the leaves of elder immortal trees.


Happiness what a concept..
I have a word for it and it says
Sunshine