Tamar Poem by gershon hepner

When Judah from his brothers had descended
he married Shua’s daughter, Canaanite.
His firstborn’s marriage very quickly ended
when God killed him––before his wedding night
perhaps. Tamar, the lady he had married,
he gave then to his next son who, as levir,
was duty bound to marry her, but tarried,
refusing to give her his semen, ever.

His contribution to the English tongue
is “onanism, ” since some say that he
had died while playing with himself, well hung,
which isn’t true, although it’s thought to be.
Although he went through motions of a marriage
his coitus with her was interruptus,
which God decided strictly to disparage
as intercourse fulfilled by brutal raptors.

He died just like his brother, making Judah
afraid to let his third son marry her,
Unwittingly, then, Judah was far lewder
than either son. He managed to deter
Tamar from taking from him yet another,
his third son Shelah, whom he loved a lot,
protecting him because he feared his brother
had died because of her. The man forgot
his sons died only since they had displeased
the Lord; he thought that each became a martyr
when, during sex he thought, Tamar had seized
both brothers, genitalia dentata.

“Please wait till Shelah has grown up, ” he said,
thus hoping to delay the banns forever.
But when Tamar learned Judah’s wife was dead
she tricked him so that he became her levir.
When Judah went to Adullam to shear
his sheep she went to meet him at Enaim,
disguised as prostitute, and called out, “Dear!
Are you to make the beast with two backs game? ”
He told her that indeed he was most willing,
but had no money. She replied: “Not drastic!
my price today’s a shekel and a shilling,
and if you haven’t got it, I’ll take plastic.”
“I have no credit card to do you bidding, ”
he said. “It seems that I must miss this boat.”
And she replied: I’m sure you must be kidding––
I’m satisfied to get from you a goat.”
“Instead of goat I’ll give a guarantee
my shepherd staff, my twisted cord and seal, ”
he said. She said: “I’m very happy we
can get together now––you have a deal! ”
Tamar, veiled as a harlot, had disguised
herself to gain from him the seed she cherished;
while making love with her he’d not surmised
that it was she for whom his sons had perished.

He tried to pay her but he could not find
her in the place where they’d made love. He thought
she was a sacred harlot, and resigned
himself to think the woman he had bought
was like the manna, freebie for the Jews
while in the wilderness, a gift from heaven.
With harlots it is common that men lose
good judgment, hoping harlot dough won’t leaven.
Hers leavened. Three months later he was told:
“Tamar is pregnant! ” He was most indignant.
Hypocrisy, as now, in days of old
was quite ubiquitous and most malignant.

He sentenced her to death for her behavior
which he considered wicked, wanton, wild,
but changed his mind abruptly as her savior
when learning he was father of her child.
He nearly made her burn for her transgression,
as in Sodom Lot’s daughters nearly died;
in both the cases there’s a sexual session
where bible laws are clearly put aside.
In Lot’s case, Moab was the younger son who
enabled David to be Ruth’s grandchild,
while Perez, Judah’s son, became the one who
became his ancestor through sex reviled.

A good thing he recanted; she had twins,
replacing Er and Onan, hollow men,
and brought to life the royal origins
of David's dynasty and Solomon.
The moral is: don’t waste your seed but save it,
and throw no stones if you have been a liar;
the seed you waste may end up as a David,
and it's a dreadful shame to spill messiah.


12/15/05