What do I leave you
when I turn to dust and join
the great beyond? I
leave my words as legacy
And inspire forever.
In the first place my computor prints the capital i to look like an I instead of a 1.It actually looks like the other capitol letter I s in the poem.In order to keep it as the 5-7-5-7-7syllable line requirements I had to move the I on the end of that line to make sense.Giving my Tankas titles is my own personal touch that way it's easier to find the one I or someone else might want to read.Thank you for your comment.I had the same problem with my Writing A to Z haiku.Trying to keep the lines smooth is a trademark technique of mine because I write longer lyrical poems, so I very seldom write anything choppy-even though each line is supposed to contain a complete thought in haiku or tanka writing and this is just my poetic voice coming through my pen.It's just my style. And I like your tanka a great deal.
OK job, Lorraine, except for the 3rd line - 'the great beyond? I' Five syllables all right, but that first person pronoun is a bit of a stretch. I first read it as the numeral 1. On second reading I read it as you meant. Just my opinion, so please ignore it as most do on this site. TANKA (Is it traditional practice to give titles to individual tanka?) What I leave behind is a legacy for you in words and images- sights and sounds that will linger faint echoes of earthly love Regards, Michael
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Micheal, As a subjective pronoun my I qualifies for double duty.I answered a question I posed in the first part to the reader: What do I leave you 5 syllables when I turn to dust and join 7 syllables the great beyond? I 5 syllables etc 7 syllables 7 syllables and begins the answer giving me the fifth required syllable for the third line.I hope this clarifies this.It isn't awkward...just has to with the font-letter caractor style.