That Feeling Of Sickness, Is All The Anger I Feel Towards You Poem by mona martinez

that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach,
is all the anger i have towards you,
that i'm just afraid to feel,
haven't felt tears in a while,
it what i would stop myself from feeling,
i did not want what i was feeling to be true,
it why i avoided them and continue,
to put myself through the same tortue,
you have always put me through as a child,
give me a chance to see you now,
you wouldn't even have a chance to talk,
i'll come at you full force,
not giving a care in the world,
you deserve to get beat down,
after everything you had did to me,
you still a selfish prick in my books,
and will always will be,
you hurt me in more ways than i can say,
i hate myself for the person,
i let myself be at times,
it who you loved me being,
only behind closed doors,
i was your girl,
how wrong does that sound?
i was only your girl when you needed me,
during all of the other times,
you could care less,
i was guilt talked into spending time with you,
even when i didn't want to,
what i wanted never mattered,
yeah you bought me things here and there,
that don't make me you property,
'i bought you this, now you have to do this'
without a fight i was yours,
it what you wanted,
you liked when i listened,
you hated when i back talked,
you know i was right,
i may only been 8 at the time,
but i know how to use my words,
when they were called for,
it what made you mad at times,
i wasn't always controlable as you wanted,
i wasn't always afraid of you,
becuz underneathe,
you were just a coward,
doing what was best for you,
you hated that i could see right through you,
it why you treaten me,
you knew how to make me back down,
i did but only for a while,
i always got up fighting,
i hardly would stay down,
only when everything was falling apart,
i would give up the fight,
life didn't matter,
why should i care,
laying still like a statue,
on the bed,
i just accepted it,
i was tired of fighting,
when i wasn't believed.