You have a slice of paradise she said
Her words like hummingbirds
Fluttered lightly in my head
more sung it seems, than said
Our home, if chosen speaks to us
She too delighted in the view
And I you see, delighted in you
We could have been the lucky two
But no, time is a foolish fickle thing
Until we lose our puppet strings
For we are not born enlightened beings
We pay the cost to earn our wings
You manage to say so much in three short verses. I love how this poem feels more enhanced rather than constrained by the rhyme. You are such a marvelous poet Edmund In the first verse I sense an almost giddy joy. We could have been the lucky two, I sense a tone of regret here. The last verse is powerful and I agree totally we pay the cost to earn our wings. Excellent poem
You hit upon something true and deliberate on my part. The rhyme and the simplicity were meant to convey the sentiments exactly as you perceived them and how nice to know that this communication actually succeeded!
You have a slice of paradise she said Her words like hummingbirds Fluttered lightly in my head more sung it seems, than said- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I would love to know the secret of writing lines like this, simple and complex at the same time, with an image that stays shimmering in our mind, and more sun it seems, than said- - -that is compelling without an ounce of strain...... excuse me if I sit here and drool over words so perfectly chosen and strung.... Edmund, you are a 10+++++++++++++++++++++ and your pen exudes 10+++++++++++++++++++ poetry and I bet your grocery list reads like a Walt Whitman expression of self!
Yes Zuza you are correct. No strain at all. You must understand that when I read your thoughts I find the variety and unique observations so real. I know you give me high praise but what of your writing? This window into your world is always magic and conveys a message that is never lost on me.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
How beautifully you start the poem and how you build on it is sheer excellence. I agree with Norah that you say a lot in a few words. That's great art. And yes, that's life....we could have been the lucky two. Almost every soul utters these words at some point or the other...what could have been and what has been often wring a sigh out of our depths. Oh, life! Loaded with wisdom without being didactic, carrying a subtle message, a great write. A10.
The slice of paradise was something that was once said to me. I always remembered that because the person that said these things was never one to make comments just to polite and that place and time where I lived in Amish country truly was special to me.