Jim Yerman

The Algebra Of Diet - Poem by Jim Yerman

Remember back in high school math when Algebraic equations filled our minds with strife?
When we wondered how learning Algebra could ever help us in real life?

For instance we learned you can have a ‘NO SOLUTION'
meaning no matter your confidence or conviction
whatever values you plug in for variables
will always end in a contradiction?

Yep, just another fact we learned in Algebra (some of us had to take it twice)
that has no meaning in a world where addition and subtraction will suffice.

Then you get a little older and pounds start to accumulate
and when you can't see your whole body in the mirror anymore
you begin to watch your weight.

You count your calories religiously as you make your daily calculations…
and it's about this time you begin to appreciate your Algebraic education.

Sure you know with just a dash of will power…and cutting back a little every day day
you'll be able to see yourself in the mirror…as your excess baggage floats away.

But then you pass your favorite cupcake store…and you feel a familiar pull
and you wonder what you're going to do…since your calorie count is full.

The dieter in you says you're better than this…tells you to slowly walk away…
But then you remember your high school math…and you smile…as you say:

If these cupcake calories won't fit into today's equation…
then what I learned in Algebra must be right…
there is no solution to this problem…
and you eat that cupcake…
every bite.

Topic(s) of this poem: humor

Form: Verse

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Poem Submitted: Thursday, April 26, 2018

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