The Big Barbarian Poem by David Mitchell

I am the Big Barbarian,
Ain’t got a lot of brain,
But things that I don’t understand
Are really quite a pain—
And I’m too lazy or too dull
To try to work them out—
And so I throw a tantrum
And I bawl and scream and shout.

I don’t believe in anything
(Except myself, of course) —
And I don’t know the meaning
Of repentance or remorse.
And things that I don’t understand—
Almost all things, in fact—
I furiously hammer at—
These things must be *attacked! *

Soldiers and priests I cannot bear,
Or a widow that tells her beads;
These people I despise and hate—
And I detest all creeds,
Except Do what you will—this is
The only law I own;
Conscience be damned! I wish that voice
Would leave me quite alone.

What’s this? A church? A waste of money,
Effort, time, and space!
Why must that hideous building
Stand there: doesn’t it deface
The landscape? And the money
Spent on that ought to be spent
On something purposeful—
Not useless-but-well-meant.

I am the Big Barbarian,
And I am full of pride,
And that is why my every word’s
So sneering and so snide.
I cannot make or understand;
With my one eye I see.
I only bully and destroy.
That’s good enough for me.

(Monday,7th February,2011.)