The Dental Gummibird Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

A gummibird sat in the mouth
of a rhinocerus, down South.
He picked between the teeth and gum
removing every little crumb
pulled out those strands of desert grass
while sitting in the putrid gas
that emanated from deep down
of this humungous blubber clown.

You ask why would a bird take on
a job like this, that's never done.
Well, other people asked the same
and, though most rhinos are not tame
one day a Seven Day Adventist
who'd graduated as a dentist
was on an African safari.

He'd just imbibed some cold Campari
when blurry eyes did spot the bird.
He was surprised and said 'My word,
these monsters are so photogenic
but haven't learned to be hygienic,
he grabbed his dental instruments
and wandered close to make amends.

The gummibird now could not stay
the dentist scraped the plaque away,
he flossed and even irrigated
when rhino, slightly irritated
first burped then clamped his big mouth shut
which, as you can imagine, cut
both dental hands off at the wrist.

And then, in a macabre twist
he opened up and took his head
clean off, the fellow was now dead.

And then, that day, down in the South
the rhino opened up his mouth
and intermittently was licking
while gummibird resumed his picking.

So if you're planning revolution
which would require execution
of methods alien and untested
it would be wise if you invested
into a bit of common sense
and put between you two a fence.

And better yet, perhaps you've heard
the work done by a gummibird
is free and also quite effective,
all interference an elective
that may not fit with Nature's plan.

Which shows the arrogance of man
who knows it all and knows it best
and wants to put God's will to test.
Both bird and rhino, at a loss
why someone with some dental floss
would come and, being God's own servant
then not deliver here a fervent
heartfelt and necessary service
but rather introduce a nervous
and heathen beast to Dentistry
as well it surely puzzles me.