The Expansion Of Pi(E) Poem by Rory Hudson

(OR, Some Practical Applications of Higher Mathematics)

The expansion of pi is infinite
(I heard it on the telly)
the expansion of pie, however
depends on the size of one’s belly.

The contours of a sweetypie, I’ve found
are always round.
That’s how endless love
gets off the ground.

(Some distinguish love and lust,
but I say: please, only if you must.)

It’s the work of pi -
but if the sweetypie
eats too much pie
she can’t get off the ground,
so love will no longer
stick around.

This is something some folks will deny.
I guess they think it’s pie in the sky.
But it isn’t pie that’s in the sky, it’s pi,
which is why
the sky is infinitely high.

But now I’ve lost my train of thought,
which I didn’t ought….

- ah yes -

Be sure your pie is rectangular or square,
so pi can’t find a foothold there.

(I’m speaking of meat pies, of course,
with sweetypies I wouldn’t be so coarse.
They should conform to pi, with contours round
but not so large they can’t get off the ground.)

If you consume too much pie, you’ll burst,
and what’s worst
will be to see the pi within the pie
after you die. It isn’t pretty
(more’s the pity) .

So never mix up pi and pie
or you might die
by and by.
And on that note
I’ll say goodbye,
noting the distinction ‘twixt “by” and “bye”,
though that’s another story
which some of you may not buy.

Goodbye.