The Hidden Hurt Straight From The Heart Poem by Michelle Hyde

I have been taught to be kind,
Treat others the way you want to be treated,
Isn’t that the golden rule?
When the world began to hurt me,
I told my mom,
When she said that nothing can be done,
I put up my wall.
I turned to religion to help,
It only made me hurt worse.
I turned away and turned to books,
The pain went away at first.
My defenses grew weak,
I began to trust again.
Soon harsh words brought back my pain,
I built up my wall once again.
Drowning my pain and tears with music,
I turned to books once more,
This was my escape from the real world.
Isolated……
Is that what it’s called?
When one feels alone in a crowded room?
If so then that is me.
Hidden behind a wall of hate and anger
“I give what I get! ” My words I live by.
The harsh words went away,
Again my defenses abandoned me.
I learned to trust once more.
I made new friends and learned new things,
For once it seemed life was coming back,
Turning over a new leaf was hard, but I did it!
I began to turn to books and music less,
My pain was easing away,
Like the tide on the ocean.
And like the ocean rough waters and turbulent times lied ahead.
My life was shaken with thunder known only as hate,
Lightning of pain flashed in my heart,
Hate built up behind my brown eyes.
I go through my day with a smile on my face,
Hiding the pain and hate behind my wall.
Laughter comes out when I want to scream.
Silence comes when I wish I could cry.
Books, music and poetry keep me safe.
They are my escape.
I can shed my feelings with out worry,
Poetry is my life.
It helps me continue living when times are tough,
I don’t expect you to understand,
Don’t say you know how I feel.
You will never know how much pain I have,
It is hidden deep inside,
It has fused to my soul becoming part of me,
I will not say I hate life and I wish to die,
That is nothing, but lies.
Death is the easy way out.
I am not a fool.
I accept a challenge.
Even if it means sorting my life out,
One poem at a time.