The Little Bigot Poem by David Mitchell

I am a little bigot, but my bigotry is big;
And if you do not agree with me, you are a filthy pig:
For you won't give me a safe space when a loud bang makes me jump,
And I know you're full of hatred, for you cast your vote for Trump.

I'm astonished by democracy; it clearly doesn't work,
For it didn't give me what I want, so I have gone berserk.
Trump's a racist, homophobic, bigoted misogynist,
And so hateful that I want to punch his visage with my fist.

I thought everyone thought just like me, and now I am in shock.
I shall have to leave America and flee to old Bangkok!
I have tried to go to Canada, but what should me befall
But they wouldn't let me in, because someone had BUILT A WALL.

Yes, I found that they had LAWS that wouldn't let ILLEGALS in,
And I banged my fist and wept and wailed and said it was a sin,
Then I thought I'd go to Mexico, to see that land so rare,
Before Trump built up a Wall - BUT THERE WAS ONE ALREADY THERE!

Why must I live in a COUNTRY, with some BORDERS and some LAWS?
Why don't we turn into COMMUNISTS, and fight for a Good Cause?
Yes, let's fight the way we fought in EGYPT, SYRIA, IRAN,
BEN-GHAZI, and IRAQ - that would be my suggested plan.

I do not care about my country's own security;
I care about a Woman's Right to murder her ba-by;
I don't think it matters what you do; I don't believe in sin,
Except not doing all you can to get H. Clinton in.

I don't believe in anything, except for the EU,
Which has so many major and important things to do;
And those who voted out of it were very badly taught,
And used their feelings, not their brains in which there is no thought.

The fact that we have narrowly avoided World War Three
By not electing Clinton really does not bother me.
For those who don't agree with me I have no love at all.
My bigotry is very big, but I am very small.

(12th November,2016)