The Straight Pretender Poem by Ramona Thompson

Rewrite of the classic song, The Great Pretender

Oh yes I'm the straight pretender (ooh ooh)
Pretending that around my fellow sex I don't swell (ooh ooh)
My need is such that sometimes I ache so much
I almost can't stand to pretend
I'm so very horny but there's no one I dare to tell

Oh yes I'm the straight pretender (ooh ooh)
Adrift and crying alone in a world of my own (ooh ooh)
I play society's game but to my real shame
I still can't bring myself to admit
I wet dream of them
When I'm all alone
On my own
In my lonely hotel room

Too real is this feeling of needing
So hard to keep playing make-believe
Too real when the thing rising in my too tight jeans
I cannot conceal

Ooh ooh yes I'm the straight pretender
(ooh ooh)
Just hiding my gay away from those prying
Those who if they knew would surely beat me down
(ooh ooh)
I have to pretend to be what I'm not (You see)
I'm hiding my true heart away like the world's most precious jeweled crown
Pretending that I'm not turned on
When they come around

Yeah ooh hoo
Too real the thing in my too tight jeans
I cannot conceal

Oh yes I'm the straight pretender
Just hiding away my gay from those plying
Those who if they knew would surely beat me down
(ooh ooh)
I have no choice but to pretend to be what I'm not
(You see)
I'm hiding my true heart away like the world's most precious jeweled crown
Pretending that they don't
Pretending that they don't turn me on
When they come around

2008 Ramona Thompson