The Vacation Poem by Phil Soar

Misled;
I've been misled.
A sandy beach the brochure said
But all I found were stones instead,
I've been misled.

Distraught;
I am distraught.
Look at the lotion that I bought
And how much sun have I had? ..Nought
I am distraught.

Tired;
I'm really tired.
What of the motor car we hired?
I turned the key and it backfired
I'm very tired.

Bored;
I'm oh so bored.
What's more, I'm sick and not insured
It might be weeks before I'm cured
I'm oh so bored.

Depressed;
I am depressed.
My wife has gone and got undressed
And she's exposed her fullsome chest
I am depressed.

Alarmed;
I am alarmed.
Here come two Spanish policemen...armed
I cannot see how they could be charmed
I am alarmed.

Relieved;
I am relieved.
It seemed the police could not believe
The sight of breasts that really heaved
I am relieved.

Enough;
I've had enough.
So I went swimming in the buff
And on each wrist was placed a cuff
I've had enough.

Despair;
Now it's despair.
The return flight was double fare
Weighed down with gifts and stuff to wear
Oh deep despair.

Relief;
What sheer relief.
To get back home to sunday beef
But we'd been burgled.
Sudden Grief.
The god damn thief! .