There's A Prisoner In My Head Comments

Loved this poem of great depth and philosophical touch. Congratulations on POD

I found this poem because I read in 'Notifications' that my friend Savita Tyagi had liked it and 'Notifications' gave a snippet of it. Gee, I don't think I've EVER used the word 'snippet'! ! bri ;)

I'd give 4 1/2 stars if I could, but NOT 5! The theme of the poem and the way you've put the story together...I LIKE. The title fits. Actually it sounds like there are 2 prisoners: You Now & You as your Younger Self. : ((

'Searching for the find.' Ok, 'find' rhymes with 'mind', but......I don't like it here. Yes, 'find' can be a verb OR a noun, but.....MAYBE use 'searching for a cure to find'? ? I give 4 stars. bri : )

(cont.) 'She's willing to go deep lengths This prisoner in my mind' : Using 'my style', I'd put a comma after 'lengths', and a period after 'mind', and use 'this', not 'This'.

'You typed 'She's willing to go deep lengths' (no 'to' seen here) . I've heard of 'go to great lengths' but 'deep' is close. (cont.)

(cont.) I LIKE THE POEM, ...but I DON'T like that 'style'. Now, I suggest you replace 'in her' with 'inside her' or 'inside of her'.

'One that holds a bright light in her'....? I looked for the end of the sentence; what word would follow 'her'? ? But you have an unusual style: (ALMOST) no punctuation AND beginning EVERY line with CAPITAL letter. (cont.)

line 16; you've imprisoned an 'extra' 'was' in your line. ;) PLEASE show it out aka let it out.

A wonderful poem where you delve into the complexities on the mind.

WELCOME TO POEM HUNTER POEM SITE, you're chosen to be The Member Poem Of The Day. by Poem Hunter and Team

I take a antidepressant myself. I am just saying that it helps if you are bogged down. I think it is better to be happy than constantly trying to pick myself up.