[things Feel Partial. My Love For Things Is Partial. Mikel On His Last Legs, Covered] - Diane Seuss In Hindi/Urdu Translation Poem by Ravi Kopra

Kuch adhoora-pan aaj muje sa lagta hai
mera pyaar janibdaar sa lagta hai
Mikel maut k paas thaa
badan us ka Kaposi sarcoma se bhra tha
Us ne kaha: dekho ye mere khilay chrysanthemums k phool
main ne jhoot maartay kaha: ye sundar lagatay hain
lakin vo murjhaaey peelay se phool thay
main usk ko choDna chahti thee
ghair haazri main, main us ka marna chahti thee
aur main ne yehi kiya
lakin jab us ko alwida kiya mera dil cheekhaiN maarne laga.

-to be continued

***

[Things feel partial. My love for things is partial. Mikel on his last legs, covered]
- Diane Seuss

Things feel partial. My love for things is partial. Mikel on his last legs, covered
in KS lesions demanded that I see the beauty of a mass of chrysanthemums. Look,
he demanded. I lied that I could see the beauty there but all I saw was a smear
of yellow flowers. I wanted to leave that place. I wanted to leave him to die
without me. And soon that's what I did. Even the molecule I allowed myself to feel
of our last goodbye made me scream. What would have happened if I'd opened
my heart all the way as I was told to do if I wanted Jesus to live inside one of its
dank chambers? Whitman told me to unscrew the locks from the doors and the doors
themselves from the jambs. Let love come streaming in like when the St. Joe flooded
Save-A-Lot and drove it out of business. The only store in town. Don't put my ashes
in the river Mikel said. Put them in a tributary. I did. I put them in a tributary without
touching them. Now I want to chalk my fingerprints with them but it's too late.
I want to hold them like he held me and touched my upper lip and called it cupid's
cusp, a phrase that made me wince. I felt love all the way then, and never since.