This Life Lives And Must. Poem by RIC BASTASA

i may still imagine
an old lady dying with cancer
telling me that she is still
reading my poems

(if they really are, and she
remarked one time when i missed her
in New York that she
felt the pain, of love and desertion
and that she still looks for
something greater than those
love poems which i have posted
a long time ago)

i do not really know much about her
met her not much
but she told me she knew all about
my secrets
and she passed me a cold glass of beer
to relax me about what she wants to
tell at that moment)

it could be a blast to my being
but i really did not care


even when i was a child i have
already learned being alone and
numb

the past is past
their sins are theirs
i have a life to live
and that is the most
important thing

so here i am
living beyond those rules
selfish and thinking only
about myself

i've changed somehow
writing what i want to write
free and uninhibited

having loved and loving still
despite, yes, despite, this life
lives and must.