Tormented - Poem by Juan Olivarez
I am tormented, By what might have been,
And by everything, that never was.
I am tormented by your eyes,
I am tormented by your mouth,
I am tormented by your angelic face.
Was it really so long ago?
Was it really all those long years ago?
How have I managed to exist till now?
How was my life ever possible after you?
I am tormented by your memory,
I am tormented by your voice.
I am tormented by your letters,
I am tormented by your poems.
I am tormented by those beautiful two weeks,
That passed like mortals do, into oblivion.
You were mine, and I yours,
Nothing else ever mattered to me.
Twas cruel destiny, that forced my wicked hand.
Like star crossed lovers, we were not to be amor mio.
I am a man tormented, since that fateful day,
When disconsolate, and bereft of any hope,
I forced our souls to part.
Tormented, I walked away, leaving you,
Crying in the autumn rain, your heart torn in two.
Crying for somebody that never was worthy of your tears.
Oh I have known the gates of hell, oh torture oh torment,
When I heard that I never truly mattered, that there was, another.
That you had played with my affections.
But that was not the terrible torment that shrouded my soul,
In the blackest of stygian nights so cruel.
My torment was knowing differently, because I knew in my heart,
That you were mine and that I would always be yours.
Torment is still my constant companion,
Tormented by your letters,
Tormented by your poems.
But finally as you said, I stopped blaming destiny so cruel,
And the moon and the stars and the four winds.
Though Torment is constantly with me,
I have accepted my lot in this life.
Now I am just happy, when I see your face,
When I see your lips,
When I see your mouth.
When I see your angelic face,
Years after life has almost passed us by.
Now I am happy to see your words,
To read your letters,
To loose myself in the poems of the love of my life.
And to know deep inside my ancient heart,
That after all these long lonely years,
In your soul, you have always been mine.
And though tormented like any human being would be,
Because of this thing we call mortality,
This eternal soul of mine will always be your possession,
And yours alone, till the end of time.
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