Treasured Untold Shenanigans Of Santa, His Elves And Reindeer Poem by matthew harris

only by a fluke did I manage
to worm winning trust
among Christmas elves and reindeer
confident this generic guy,

would never breach scandalous
tidbits, into a an underground impregnable
air-raid shelter, the motley crue
tied blindfold over my eyes, didst steer

me hermetically sealed,
which crawl space required me to hunker
sound (cloud)proof bunker

while ensconced (security detail munchkins,
who just so happened tubby queer
minded entrance portal)
only after getting the thumb up signal,

whereat nose pies planted
espionage surveillance devices
the chief head honcho and attendents,
Smoky and the bandits respectively,
magically, andhandily did ap pear

and despite one hundred percent bug free,
a whispered stance opted just to make sure
no unwanted eavesdropper could overhear
plus every participant swore an oath, cuz

any leaked real or "FAKE" information,
would spell imminent demise to be near
the upshot, sans grave emergency
d escribingclandestine arraignment

involving some rogue elf
(most likely at least two) ,
and a misbehaving reindeer
(names withheld to avoid any spoiler alert) ,
plus this entire kit and caboodle
necessary to help Saint Nick

got wind, (and subsequently reined in)
a rave party with orgiastic
sex, drugs and rock and roll
that a band aided elf(ves)
laced with Pepper Minstix
(anonymously hashtagged Sodom and Gomorrah)
sullied pure as the driven snow repute,

when alias Sugarplum Mary ("FAKE NAME")
detected snorting cocaine
code named Alabaster Snowball,
while additionally
besmirching her virginity

via coital cavorting
amidst a Bushy Evergreen
shaking as if frenzied
with feverish boogie woogie flu

which seductive, prurient,
and master baiter friend zeed
(spunky gangnum style)Shinny Upatree
which could slay Wunorse Openslae reputation
as substance abusers,
and sex offenders if not worse.