Trigger Poem by Elizabeth Tyease Collins
Trigger
I pulled the trigger no one would
sit and listen,
I sent myself underground for all the
wrong reasons,
sent all my troubles underground,
spent all my time with my head down,
and I know that I'd be next on
death's list,
even though I knew deep inside I just knew
I had a life to live,
I knew no one would listen to a girl in
pain,
no one would comprehend a girl in
disdain,
am I sure that I was able to live
that life in vain?
Am I sure that love is what I wanted to expect
it to be,
why the trigger hit my brain to dash my
dreams,
he wants to be there but he can't hear me,
in death I am in the dark with everything,
but in real life I am nothing,
maybe a speck of nothingness is all I am,
but I know shutting my heart was what I
never regretted.
Maybe I'm just crazy in the head,
that all I've wished is for me to dead,
but even as I try to comprehend how I
feel,
I know that this bullet in my brain is real.
Great writing! I like it and how you expressed the pain and sadness. good work!
I like how you used 'dead' as a verb...It's creative. This has potential, truly. I'll read your other poems, because you've certainly piqued my interest. I like the mood of the poem, on a positive note. It's got a good feel, even if it's not a very happy theme. Some critisism would be this, and I mean it to be helpful: You became more and more wordy as the poem went on. If you had shortened it up a bit earlier on, it would have summed up well, and been less cluttered. There are too many syllables, some words aren't necessary, and in the end, all of this ends up disrupting the flow of the poem. In fact, I agree with Moth Harris in a lot of respects. That's some sound advice, and I couldn't have put it better. My sentiments exactly. As an aside: I see Sora from KH! xD How did you know I was an anime/manga/rpg fan? Are you stalking me? ! Tcheh. Even more odd while I'm looking up a faq on TWEWY. <3
I thought your poem was very good, quite deep but an insight into a suicidal teenagers mind, keep writing, well expressed, Lynda x 10
Wonderful..I love this poem..Listen to those who respond..your writing is already wonderful and poetic...i can feel the intenceness and emotion..the pain and inner depression one must have or use to write within this style..you already have this talent Liz...only help you need is convincing your fingers to hit the keys some more and allow us to read what you say..and feel what it is that affects you within..loved it...bring us more.... ~^..^
This is an amazing poem Elizabeth. I agree with Matt Mooney, one day you will have a true force in poetry, yes. And you will be able to change the world. Your already on your way there :) , keep going strong.
Elizabeth, one day you will be a true force in poetry and what is more important in life. Perseverance is the secret of survival and eventual success. Like a boat on the ocean there are storms and swells to survive. Sail away.The world awaits. Peace be with you.
its very sad when a person feels like their nothing there is hope good write
think this is a little confusing on a poem for me any way! but its still really good! ^^
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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12/5/2025 11:04:01 AM # 1.0.0
u started this really well, it captured me in the begining n i wanted to read more but somewhr in the middle it sort of looses the feel i got in the beginin, im nt sure if its 2 long or ther r jus 2 many words. towards the end..me for dead.. is that intentional? i couldn make it sound. the rhyme scheme cld b bttr bt well tried. the poem: i feel n hear u loud n clearly, u did well pennin ur feelings. WORD