Trust Was Taken, Memories Remain Poem by mona martinez

i wonder why i can't find love,
than i wonder if i will ever trust somebody enough,
to ever get close to me,
it don't seem fair,
that i'm left with bad memories,
mostly on how to truely love somebody,
but i can't change my past,
i've been trying for so long,
it just not that easy,
i can't just let it go,
like ppl want me to,
it just not that simple,
it like if i told told you to cut your arm,
yet even though it gone,
you are reminded everytime you look at it,
it the same way when i'm reminded of my past,
there are just some things i will never get back,
but it wasn't my choice to make,
yet i'm suffering from it,
life just seem so unfair,
i don't even know how to see the positive,
the more i fight it,
and remain strong,
the harder it fight,
to remain existing,
i don't know what else to do,
not many understand what i go through,
with childhood sexual abuse,
you feel so alone,
out of place with yourself,
just trying to be normal,
the painful truth is,
that it will never be.