Waht A Life.... Poem by SmashLey Sweetie Simons

Since I can remember
My life has been missed up
From being raped and depressed
To losing friends I loved the most
I have a bro I never see
He doesn't even know about me =(
I want him back I need him now
I want him to know he has big sisters
That are grown and proud
I love our mom, I hate his dad
His dad is the one who messed me up

But ENOUGH about that on with my LIFE

So I went to a boarding school
In the winter of 2005
It was either there or expelled from school
LOL....I was a runaway for the longest time
And on suicide watch all the time
Treatment never helped
My family is the only treatment I need

But when I was like 7 or 8
I was in the middle of a shooting
In my very own house
My unkle was shot in the arm
Well saving my baby sister
He is still alive but now messed up
He enjoys pain like its nothing...how kraizy

My very own father
Left me without saying GOODBYE or I LOVE YOU
It made me very sad and angry inside
He was like gone for 2 or 3 years
He said he had a better life in MISSISSIPPI
I was here and he was there
He always callin me an worthless daughter
What a father huh?

I lost my friends and family
My messed up life in STABCITI

I DECEMBER OF 2006
I took 40 high pills
I died for awhile and came to every once in a while
It scared me and my family
I didn't know who they were
Even tho I was there world
I wanted to die, I didn't care
To me it seems as if you
Want me to die
I feel no love inside
I feel all blue =(

But life goes on no doubt
But for me it wont
Because right now im dead
Sad and lonely on my bad
As tears fall down my face
Looking into space
I cope with my peace
Looking down on me

I'm still a cutter
I watch my blood
touch the atmosphere, with my blade
As I watch with shame
Didn't know who to blame
I was stuck in the shadow of death
As they wait for my last breath
I have to cope with all this stress

I hiding behide my disguise
Never knowing whats going on
Im the last to know, to hear
And this was suppost to be my year=(
But on well it dont really matter
To me anymore........

So I got to school
Back and forth everyday
Because theres no one to see
If u know what I mean?

(almost done)