Walking The Dog Poem by David Harris

It was Russ’s leaving day
and we waited for him to arrive.
Len suggested that Russ
was probably walking the dog.
Sandra was using Big Brother
trying to locate him on the internet,
but could only get a picture up of him
of when he was young and looked like Tony Blair.
Len again suggested that Russ
was probably walking the dog.
Terry was touching up
his three steps to heaven
that Russ could practice on
to get back his Arnie Sweatyknicker physic.
David was bagging up the off cuts of wood
in a black dustbin bag
and still the Popemobile had not arrived.
Sarah dropped in to say hello and goodbye
to the leaving soul and was surprised
that Russ had not arrived.
Len again said he suspected Russ
was out walking the dog.
Then they heard it arrive, the white Popemobile.
Everyone looked out the window
and saw Russ’s upper torso sticking up through the roof
as he was practicing the Queen’s wave to everyone.
Further surprises were in store
when the Popemobile parked
and his dog opened the driver’s door.
The dog was driving and had taken Russ for a ride.
No one could understand the smoke stack
that curled out the back window
until Russ explained it was the new heating system,
a wood burning stove on the back seat.
What happened to the central heating? Terry asked.
The dog did not like it and threw it out as he drove.
He felt better with a bit of wood to chew as he drove.
Now he had arrived
and before he could do anything
he just had one job to do
and that was,
WALK THE DOG.