Why Sadness On Me-One Poem by Mehta Hasmukh Amathaal

Why turn sadness on me?
When I am free
And independent
At present

The spring brings change
And I shall manage
Its colour
With honor

I love holidays
As they show ways
In leisure time
Try it sometimes

I am one of those
Who has chosen?
No time for goal
But consistently call

Let us know how far it pays
And stays
As luck with favour
I take it as sign of future

Despite all these
I chose
Self-lined path
And calm down with a deep breath

Death of dear ones
Always upset and takes
Heavy toll of concentration
I develop blurred vision

I get nowhere
So I develop fear
Whom should I confide?
So I have decided

Accept the refuge of nature
Confide everything there
There is lively atmosphere
Free from any kind of interference

I think here about sadness
That always rushes on the face
it reminds me of glorious spending in past
I like it very much but it upsets

I grew with parent's shelter
So I had not to bother
They took full care
And always took me all over

Such thing had deep impact
I was unable to act
Especially mother's face made me cry
As a child how much I felt with shyness?

I wanted to cry in open
As everything was lost in past heaven
Nobody came to me for any kindness
As I was deeply involved with finances

Here no sentiments work
Only firm stand and word plays great part
I was taken as strict disciplinarian
But considered as kind human

I never insulted anyone
As my approach was same
For me, everybody was counted as important
And that remained permanent attitude

I was forced to reveal
To outside world about feelings
That I too was kind and human being
Even though I was considered as powerful king material

I have done whatever I could
And in future too I would
But something worries me permanently
How shall I handle to blow that is caused recently?

People advise me
Not to worry
About worldly affairs
As it always affects

I try to be not emotional
But I am also an individual
Made out of clay
And as such always surrender to god and pray

I want to come out
And talk about freely
Let there be some adverse stories
Yet I have decided to carry my burden

It is my ship
And I have to keep
It is in readiness to sail
Else I shall be completely failed