Words Are Not Just Words Poem by mona martinez

i'm confused and lost in my thoughts,
but what you said,
really had affected me,
i felt like a prize ppl want,
once they get it,
there will be nothing else,
that they would want,
never knew words can hurt so much,
words were how my abuser,
knew how to get me to stay,
all of the lies he told,
it was so easy to believe,
becuz they hurt,
they still haunt me,
i admit that i still compare ppl,
from time to time,
it what i need to work on,
i hate that when somebody do,
one wrong thing,
i hold them accountable,
but yet why do i feel so bad,
when ppl have the right to pick their actions,
why do i think i'm the one to blame,
i did nothing wrong,
i feel guilt and shame,
what i have always felt all my life,
i continue to let ppl off easy,
when they hurt me,
i suck it up,
and pretend it don't hurt,
but at times,
i would rather cut myself,
just so i won't have to feel the pain,
and wonder what i did wrong to deserve it,
there are times i know i deserve better,
but the pain from the past,
attract me to ppl who don't know what they have,
until it gone.