Wrapped In Sorrow Poem by RoseAnn V. Shawiak

Deep down inside where only I can hide, lies the meaning
of my life, figuring out many facets, going through years
of experience, I try to find me out.

Self-consciously doubting self over the years, feeling I
had no value or worth, continuously proving it to myself,
as time and again I would give up.

Not realizing at the time, that I had already made it to
the top, feeling inferior, shy, withdrawn within myself,
toppling over fast and hard.

Becoming the depression I felt I deserved, filling up with
sadness to cover any anger and left myself dangling, play-
ing with suicide like a game, a challenge I hadn't yet met.

Finalizing life, ending it with no glory, turned in upon
myself in fury, never lifting a finger, never reaching out
to anyone, continuing to stay alone.

Wrapped up in sorrow of myself, becoming numb and digging
a grave, burying myself, my identity, way down deep, then
looking in a mirror I laughed at myself.

So pitiful, so sad my face did look, as it mirrored what
I held inside, seeing only the child there, reflecting
years gone by.

Wanting some attention, always, to keep on living, stay-
ing away from suicide as long as possible to let some love
grow inside of self.

Little child, lost, alone, in a desolate state of mind,
trying to undo the past for it was not her crime, but that
of her parents.