Yet To Heal Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

You witnessed me bleed,
From the telling of your lies...
Told to those accepting to believe.
And continued you did.
Until what was done,
Sickened me to various illnesses.

Still I have yet to heal,
From memories you left.
And re-actions I received,
That left me defenseless.
To have my integrity diminished.
As you enjoyed every minute of it.

It has taken me years,
To overcome my weeping of silent tears.
With a holding onto faith kept inside.
And to know God was there,
On my emotional rollercoaster ride.
And 'now' today I hear it from others told,
How my surviving your misdeeds...
Has left me insensitive and cold,
Because to them it seems I do not show...
For you,
Any concern at all.
Well...

'Well? '

I can't find the words,
To express what's not there to feel.
Or pretend what isn't real.

'Forgiveness.
Forgiveness to give,
Prevents embittered intentions.'

Forgiveness?
God knows that is not my problem.
I have long forgiven you.
It is the forgetting evil people,
That leaves me with memories...
To know them for who they are.
And, for whatever the purpose,
Those scars keep reappearing.
Don't they?