You 'Feelin' Me? Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Look...
For the record!
I AM a writer.
It is much more than liking it!
I AM it!

I AM this creative being.
I was born this way.
You know how some folks,
Can't make up their minds from time to time?
I don't understand that.
I don't have that problem.
The problem I'm confronted with,
Are those who believe I seek their approval...
Or acceptance.
Or 'tolerance' for my behavior.
And it has taken me years to convince them...
Even 'if' they did not exist,
I'd still be doing 'this'!

Or finding time to compose, act or direct.
Sing or dance or just sit to reflect.
Or write my opinions to submit in response...
To some nonsense I've read in a local newspaper,
Feeding BS to dead heads.
To inject their community hostilities.
That 'game is played all over the place!
This 'business' about fitting 'in' to please...
Has never comforted me personally,
Or my needs, desires or wishes I dream.
I'm not focused into who did what to who...
And got mad as hell!
I thought eyes were meant to roll,
Until my mother said to me...
'Boy, you better stop rolling your eyes at me.
Before I pop 'em right out of your head!
AND look at me when I'm talking to you.'

My mom had a way of getting my sisters and I
To listen to her!
It was quite a different intimidation than my father's.
He would just fix his eyes on me and not move them,
At all.
Not even blink for minutes.
Or say a word.
He was 'extremely' convincing.

Look...
For the record!
I AM a writer.
It is much more than liking it!
I AM it!
I AM this creative being.
I was born this way.
My identity is intact!
And I thank God for that.
Because the 'normalcy' of 'your' world...
Leaves much to be questioned and debated,
For the reality of it that is 'suppose' to reflect truth.
Very little of that is expressed!
You 'feelin' me?

I AM a process of evolution.
A creative aspect of life.
Just like all of nature should be.
I am about growth and change.
And none of that I am asking for
From anyone's pocket to spare.
Or decide I qualify to be who I AM.
I don't play that!
It is not a condition of my mission.