NO!
I dont want her to grow up to be like me,
after all I have ever done and the only thing she has ever seen
is mom and me fighting, Tim and me fighting, or mom and Tim
fighting. Not once has she seen us as a whole family.
Knowing she is growing up and beginning to look like
me and all I want is her to grow up oppisite of me.
I dont want her to be like me and break down and cut,
I know she can't handle pain to well and hopefully she grows
out of it and does not become the person I did and make the
same mistakes I did. I'm not going to try and fix my mistakes through
her but I just want her to be the better side of me.
Knowing I can't change what she has seen and knowing
that nothing I do can change her way of thinking,
she's as stubborn as me, that could be a good thing
or bad. No one knows, no one will ever know the deep secrets
that i hold within and I pray to God that she does not do the
same. Never again would I be able to live with myself knowing
I gave that knowledge to my little sister and she turns around
and uses it against me. I don't want my little baby sister to
become my enemy. Having to fight her every day about shit
that I did in the past and screwed up badly.
One night she will turn against the entire family and once
again I will be left alone. Just as Tim did.