Spike Milligan Poems

Born screaming small into this world-
Living I am.
Occupational therapy twixt birth and death-
What was I before?
...

I saw a little elephant standing in my garden,
I said 'You don't belong in here', he said 'I beg you pardon?',
I said 'This place is England, what are you doing here?',
He said 'Ah, then I must be lost' and then 'Oh dear, oh dear'.
...

Somewhere at some time
They committed themselves to me
And so, I was!
Small, but I WAS!
...

If you're attacked by a Lion
Find fresh underpants to try on
Lay on the ground quite still
Pretend you are very ill
...

So they bought you
And kept you in a
Very good home
Cental heating
...

Drake is going west, lads
So Tom is going East
But tiny Fred
Just lies in bed,
...

The essence of true beauty
Lingers in all-encompassing rainbows
Of your joy and laughter
...

I was thinking of letters,
We all have a lot in our life
A few good - a few sad
But mostly run of the mill-
...

English Teeth, English Teeth!
Shining in the sun
A part of British heritage
Aye, each and every one.
...

I cannot
and I will not
No, I cannot love you less
Like the flower to the butterfly
...