Spike Milligan Poems

My sister Laura's bigger than me
And lifts me up quite easily.
I can't lift her, I've tried and tried;
She must have something heavy inside.
...

I saw a little elephant standing in my garden,
I said 'You don't belong in here', he said 'I beg you pardon?',
I said 'This place is England, what are you doing here?',
He said 'Ah, then I must be lost' and then 'Oh dear, oh dear'.
...

Somewhere at some time
They committed themselves to me
And so, I was!
Small, but I WAS!
...

So they bought you
And kept you in a
Very good home
Cental heating
...

If you're attacked by a Lion
Find fresh underpants to try on
Lay on the ground quite still
Pretend you are very ill
...

I was thinking of letters,
We all have a lot in our life
A few good - a few sad
But mostly run of the mill-
...

Drake is going west, lads
So Tom is going East
But tiny Fred
Just lies in bed,
...

The essence of true beauty
Lingers in all-encompassing rainbows
Of your joy and laughter
...

I cannot
and I will not
No, I cannot love you less
Like the flower to the butterfly
...

If I could write words
Like leaves on an autumn forest floor,
What a bonfire my letters would make.
...