Anonymous Daughter

Thug life soldier
thats what you are
thug life soldier
thats what I need
...

A horrible crime
Rape.....loss of innocence
Rape.....didn't have a choice
Rape.....Nobody heard my voice
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Please rest your head young hero
cuz in my mind you never were a zero
even though i neva got a chance to see you wit my eyes
I still wish i had a chance to say goodbye
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Growing up can b a drag
specially having to listen to all these people brag
bout how good, nice and fun dey life is
but i really wish that dey had a chance to experience this
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I wonder what will happen 2morrow
Will i wake up to see it?
or will it pass me by?
Will it scare me?
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Graduated, Got into college, Found love all without you
When you kicked me out of your house I felt lost, alone
You cared not what you did to me as long as you satisfied yourself
You will come back by the grace of God but not the way I left you
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Over its over
That's what I could tell you
But everytime I try to say it something goes wrong
just like a bad song
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When i was with him you were all I was thinking about
He said things that made me think differently
from what i've seen from t.v mom's
I get my motherly advice of the television
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I'm scared of dying
I'm scared of people finding out i'm lying
I'm scared of losing my virginity to someone that doesn't deserve it
I'm scared of not going back to Africa to get my mom
...

In the beginning it was wonderful
Always laughing and smiling at the dumb things you used to do
We had plans that at times I thought would come true
But after a while I started thinking twice
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I said leave but meant stay
I said I hated you but meant the reciprocal
After all we've been through I can't give up that easily
I begged for you to stay but your heart is content at leaving
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We cannot be
The destruction we cause is one that cannot be measured
Tears fill my eyes as they did before because I am under pressure
I cannot be with you
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My man just left me
Car is breaking down
And I'm struggling well
Working til my feet is tired
...

I never thought you could make me feel so low
But oh! You are so cold
I never thought you could hurt me so bad
But oh! you already have me looking so sad
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Am I suicidal cuz I wanna end the pain
or cuz I feel like these feelings I cannot erase
Am I suicidal cuz the knife lingers in my hand
or because I allow it to slip through my fingers like sand
...

You ever just blank out in the mist of numerous people
Feel like your heart is sinking into endless doom
Like the turmoil in life is in the corner lurking to bloom
To end the strife in your life is unnecessary
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Did you think I would be happy being your replacement?
The one you set a different part of you on
The one you held for the time being
The one you called just to 'check up' on
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I’m experiencing a mind revolution
An exultation of my deepest feelings and desires
My mind wishes to revolt against its commander
Form a coup d’etat against its dictator
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Which one would you choose
A man so deceitful and able to hide his evil self or the one who shows you
The diamond that I chose amongst the ruble turned out to be nothing but a twinkle in my eye
Not different, just more deceitful
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I can’t pretend I didn’t like you
Feel like you didn’t like me too
Maybe you liked me, maybe you didn’t
But I won’t tell you what I need, rather tell you what I want
...