Beautiful Disaster

How did I know this was going to happen again?
I guess its true all great things must come to an end
All though I’m not sure what we had was ever a great thing
You hurt me bad and told me you loved me
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its like damn boy you got me trippin over myself
its like when you look at me my heart skips a beat and you take my breath away
i thought it was over and i was over you and your games
but its like you put me under your spell and for the first time i couldn't rebel
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He is just a guy a simple guy
Who has always come in and out of my life
We used to be best friends and all
We loved each other so
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It was an early September morning
I hear my sister Katrina screaming in agony
My teenage body jumps out of bed
My mom says to me “Its Time! ”
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As I sit in an empty room my thoughts are so tempting
I pick up the razor and the pen not sure what to do
Should I write this story of sorrow and heart break on my arm or on a paper?
I’m thinking to myself how could you do this to yourself
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I think I love you but I’m not sure
I think I miss you but you don’t care
You never did and probably never will
You don’t understand the pain I feel
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Sitting in the rain thinking about who I am who I was and who I thought you were, millions of things run through my head.
All the good times we had play in my head like a movie without sound but as my silent movie comes to an ends I remind myself of how you just up and left like what happened meant nothing at all.
Everything I do everyday reminds me of you in some way or another
But I’m not taking the blame not this time it was all your fault
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I’m lost in my mind thinking about you
The way I wish things could be.
I want to believe that you love me so but I just don’t know.
I never know who else you’re talking to or
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Let me tell you about G.O.D.
How he gave his life for you and me.
They nailed him on the cross so we could have a better life.
People love the light in me no one know the devils is beating me.
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This time I've decided not to pick up all the pieces
and try to put it back together it just hurts to much.
I'm tired of the lies and the fake I love yous,
I'm so torn apart inside I'm looking up at rock bottom.
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i'm done with you and your stupid games
your oficially just another face in the crowd
it no longer phases me when i see you in the hall
i even cought you staring and it didnt phase me at all
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Always there when we needed you the most
Never let us down
Great person in every way
Exciting to be around
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I never thought I would feel like this again
The love of God is a bigger rush then you ever get from any pill, drink, or boy
He sent his son to die on the cross so we could have a better life.
I spent all this time going up and down on this rollercoaster that we call life
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Life’s a trip and then you die
but sometimes you get back on you feet and give it another try
make the right choice and forget the mistakes,
everyone deserves a second chance
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I’m more then you will ever be worth
I’m the girl you can’t get out of your head
I can make you go crazy with just one kiss
I’m steady pimpin and really don’t need you
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Boy you got me going crazy
I feel like I’m at the same place again
You confuse me so much
I love you then I hate you I’m not sure how to feel
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