David Lovell

Note: This is the first in a three-part series.

Nowhere, I'm going nowhere
Surely all these rules are to blame
...

This cannot continue, I must be free
But how can I kill this monstrosity?
It feeds off of depression, apathy, and anxiety
While murdering every thing good in me
...

I walk the dry land once more, but in a new way
Steps made with confidence, I know where I go, I do not hesitate
The surging, turbulent sea nearly drowned me
But a Savior came and held me above the waters
...

The sky above is pallid shades of gray
Just like it has been for days and days
When will this break, when will the light return?
...

I feel the cold of the north wind comin' down
Swirling leaves, once an array of fall colors, now fully dead and brown
It gets dark too early, sunlight leaves, wish it would stick around
Despite the cold and death and dark I sense You and I know Your grace abounds
...

I am immobile and useless
How did it all begin?
I know well now, hindsight is 20/20
I ceased to see when I wouldn’t look inside
...

Lost in a dark maze
Suddenly I see myself
I am grieved, I do not know why
But I know that the time draws near
...

This is beyond my understanding
Lord, I still trust You
...

Less than forever wouldn't be long enough
And forever can't come soon enough
...

Now I am broken, crippled within my heart
Broken, and all my strength is gone
Now I am busted, I cannot walk or even crawl
Busted, all hope is now flowed out
...

Somewhere, deep inside my heart,
Are dreams that may never see light;
But somewhere, deep inside my heart,
Is the will to stand and fight.
...

The spider drops down without detection
On a thread of silk-smooth deception
Spinning slowly lies and treachery on his prey
Wrapping it in a cocoon of apathy and dismay
...

Spoken shadows flash with dark lightning all their own;
Have you been struck? , for I see an ominous glow.
Darkness that illuminates light with shadow,
Falsehoods consume you with deadly fire you blindly feed.
...

I look up to the sky this lonely night
I find no hope, no light
The stars have fallen tonight
I stand there and all is silence
...

Over the years in silent sadness I watch
As dream after dream dies, some slowly, some so quickly
Inside, I die with them; we are one
Sometimes new replaces old, it matters not, all of them die
...

Disillusioned
Loss of inspiration
I have so little left to give
Like the knees of jeans reduced to a few strands of thread
...

Every time I can’t take another step, I take a few more
Because His grace is sufficient for me
Those times I just want to walk out the door
I find that His grace is sufficient for me
...

I am but a mortal man,
This and nothing more, nothing less.
I dream of great things, but can’t even keep my car running.
Looking into the stars,
...

When colorful leaves from above do descend
When those first snowflakes of winter fill the sky
When plants come to life upon getting rain on which they depend
When comes scorching heat I love so dear that makes others sigh
...

Cruel by nature and twisted in every way,
Sometimes almost more than I can take, like today.
It’s like being enthralled while simultaneously being given a crushing blow,
Or swimming in a tropical paradise while dying in knee-deep snow.
...