Isabella Night

Being separated from you is hard.
We have to get used to this hellish ordeal.
When we reunite, we both let down our guard.
In doing this, we show each other how we truly feel.
...

Bandages and band-aids won't heal
The simple emotions I wish I didn't feel.
Wanting and yearning for your acceptance;
My patience needs someone's help for guidance.
...

Shattered and broken
Loved then forgotten
Used and abused
Appreciated then taken for granted
...

My secret is out.
You now realize what I was secretly talking about.
I was going through pain.
Please don't think you're the blame.
...

I'm sorry that I hurt you.
I simply don't know what to do.
How am I supposed to tell you everything?
You'd take away the reason of my being.
...

You put me in this mood...
Don't stop!
Feeling that wave of effervescence hit me like a hurricane.
I wouldn't ever want to be without you.
...

It's all an illusion
Since when did my beauty ever amount to anything?
You loved me...
You used & abused me...
...

My transformation?
Oh yes; there has been one.
You cannot see because you are blind.
There is fire in my eyes.
...

Safety....an embrace long forgotten; yet still sought.
Passion....a scorching trail of desire yearning to be untamed.
Hope....the only thing holding the threads of my heart together.
Love....something that hasn't ever fully been fulfilled.
...

Why must I hurt like this?
My love, I've hurt you.
Your happiness is what I miss.
I hope our relationship will hold true.
...

Beaten, broken, scarred, and torn;
This heart still burns bright.
We'll burn this city in our flames and leave but a small resemblance of the ashes of jealousy, fear, and uncertainty.
Braving the elements – without reasonable doubt – we will climb our way to the clouds and dive into the wonders of the ocean’s crevices.
...

Courage doesn't even dare cross the stepping stones across the raging waters you've swam through. 
Pain wouldn't think to come knocking on your door; for a door there is no more. 
Fear doesn't know what to do, for you've laughed in its face. 
Heartache doesn't know where to go, for where does heartache find a crevice to seep into when a heart has been so tattered and torn as yours?
...

What does the mind do when it cannot feel?
It searches, walking around aimlessly. 
It experiments, craving that high it once felt. 
Lust, sex, passion, desire...
...

I once thought the world flourished.
That my world was perfection.
Perfection; you define perfection however you wish to.
To me, the definition is overrated.
...

My a-da-nv-do aches.
It seems like everytime you speak,
My words jumble, like the earth when it quakes.
When you lean over me, I hold my breath; making me light-headed and weak.
...

Since when can you brag about how you've 'changed'?
I've been wanting you to for years.
But now that you are 'changing', I just grit my teeth in anger.
You try to hug me and pretend that I am your precious daughter.
...

So I have this dream...
Call me pathetic for exerting myself
For thinking a concept that should be so easy to grasp is nothing more than a mere fantasy.
Is there such a thing as pure, exhilarating happiness?
...

Sun-soaked kisses dazzle me from under my shady tree,
The breeze neither chilly nor hot.
A content, life-filling, warm breeze.
The ocean blue sky above my head.
...

Home holds no security for me anymore.
What was once my escape is now my prison cell.
I was silent; eyes closed to the host overpowering you.
Now my eyes are open; I've found my voice and despise the monster I see in you.
...

Hearts bleed while songs continue to be sung...
Smiles going on all around, but exasperated words are yet to be heard...
Grabbed by the throat; all the happiness strained from my voice...
Hiding, hiding, hiding...
...