Neo Patricia Monamodi

the truth is i love you
the truth is i always dream of you at night
the truth is i do my best to hide it from you
the truth is the future is blank without you
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Wanting to trust him with her heart
but she is scared if her heart is safe in his care;
Wondering if he will not crush and abuse it
She is scared he will leave and pretend she’s not there
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Anxiety holds me prisoner.
Talk about it but get no satisfaction
Mind bogging contemplation
Excruciating pain at the thought
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I am lust
I devour your joy and take away your trust
I make her look so attractive to you
I use your small brain and take your sensitivity
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I want to love you fiercely
With the kind of love that shuts up the outer world
One that keeps you down in my heart here
The love that leaves you secure and liberated
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The beauty of one is learnt from within their hearts
The greatness of the heart reflects on the smile
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I hate how he manages to get me back to myself without words
The way he just has the right things to say when I’m upset
How I miss him every moment he gets out of sight
How I get lost in thought wondering what this thing is I have with him
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Sins of love in this road traveled when people confuse lust for love
Lust for love just so they can get one moment of pleasure
A moment of gratification that he calls love making just to make you feel exceptional while your true self he is taking.
Perhaps to get you again the following morning just before he leaves
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Someone told me I’m heading towards depression and I laughed
She said I’m crazy and I should see a doctor
She said let me be your advisor, and save you from this disaster
Again, though I would have loved to believe her I looked at herand her
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You are the beauty of how God describes love
You take me with you when we’re apart
And let me float away when we are together
You take me into the place I’ve never been
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Today as I lay
Thinking this is my last day
As my family watches my body decay
I have no regrets, no pain
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Death is easy
Anything you touch can kill
Death is the end
End of my troubles
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you are stupid my darling
Is my love not obvious?
Do you not feel my pain;
This pain of loving you?
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He says, “I’ll turn your tears to diamonds
And change your mourning to music
Your broken spirit to pearls
And your tattered heart to a castle of my rest
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In case it exists, I wouldn't care about your money and wealth
I'd care if you can afford the cost of love
If you can pay attention to little things
If you can afford being a father
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Shall this not be true love I shall die
I fall not often but once too deep
My heart grazes carefully for something pure
Words are cheap but man’s acts speak for him
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I swore to never ask
So I carry on with my daily tasks like nothing happened
Scroll names and pretend it’s you I phoned
Then from nowhere it hits me again
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The lovely love of his life;
He longs for her to have been his wife.
She comes to him in twisted thoughts and visions.
And controls him from his transparent dreams.
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He says, “I’ll turn your tears to diamonds
And change your mourning to music
Your broken spirit to pearls
And your tattered heart to a castle of my rest
...